Letter to Jaxon 11/9/2020

 

Monday November 9th 2020

Hello Jaxon! 

This letter is going to arrive sometime after you do the forge.  Everyone is saying that you guys are going to get your phones for the weekend.  That would be great! I was thinking on Saturday that I didn’t have any updates or anything to tell you.  Wow do I have a lot to tell you now. 

Hunter was in a 4wheeler accident, he was standing on his 4wheeler and pulling limbs to their burn pile.  The 4wheeler hit a rock and Hunter hit the brake and went flying over the handle bars and hit is top jaw on the front rack.  It knocked out two of his teeth, one on the left and one on the right.  He also broke his jaw in two places and knocked pieces off his two front teeth.  He ended up getting his top jaw/teeth wired and a bone graft done to replace a tooth.  He is doing okay but in pain.  He wasn’t even going fast, it was just a freak accident.  He went to a cosmetic dentist today and he will require another bone graft and another surgery.  It will take about 6 months to fix his mouth.  Katie also told me today that one of his front teeth are dying.  I included a picture of him in the ER.

Wil loves the Rogue hat and is wearing it all the time!  I also had bought Ava a small Rogue sweatshirt, black on black so that she would leave your sweatshirt alone.  She wears it constantly, she was wearing yours constantly but she loves her new one because it is just like yours. 

Wil has a concussion.  ☹ He started complaining on Sunday, Friday he was in the accident with Brody in front of Freedom Fitness.  The lady was going 65 in a 35 and rear ended them.  Monday Wil went to school and just after 30 minutes he felt like he was going to throw up so I told him he needed to be seen.  I couldn’t get him in with Jeff until Thursday so I texted Igor (the trainer at the school, who knows Wil well).  He said to bring him in today so he did concussion testing on him and Wil does have a concussion.  He had 16/22 symptoms and his score was a 55.  Those don’t mean much to me but his eyes wouldn’t track on the vertical movement test.  He was nodding his head and trying to move his eyes up and down but Igor suddenly said stop and told us that Wil’s eyes had stopped on the bottom hand and his head made a whole movement up and down before his eyes could catch up.  And Wil’s vision was super blurry after and he had to close his eyes.  Igor stopped the testing there.  It’s a bummer.  So he has to wait until he has 48hr with no symptoms to go back to school, no in person or online until then.  And after he has 48 hours of school without symptoms he can start weight lifting again.  We are watching Psych right now and Blitz just came in and got on the couch on top of Wil’s blanket.  Literally just jumped right up with Wil and we are not sure why and he won’t get down.  We think maybe he knows Wil doesn’t feel good. 

Zachary Gulick’s parents Kelly and Brandon reached out to me this week and we are getting to know each other. Zachary told them you and him were Buddies.  They are really nice.  I’m glad they found me.  😊

Trek - So I have been thinking about you a lot this week and about the Forge coming up.  I have been thinking about how incredibly hard it is going to be but I am not worried about you at all.  I miss you like crazy but one memory keeps sticking out.  Remember when you went on Trek?  I think you were about 14 years old.  You came home and I took you to Jeff Ball and he said you had extreme fatigue.  That you pulled the handcart constantly.  That you pulled Dustin a lot because he wore cowboy boots and girls that couldn’t walk anymore.  That you went and went and went and never stopped.  When you got home you couldn’t figure out why you didn’t feel 100% but you didn’t regret all you did for everyone.  I’m on pins and needles to hear how it went even though I know you will be just fine.  Anyhow anytime I start to worry I just remember what you were capable of at 14 and now you are a man.  😊

I am starting to stress about your birthday cards and birthday money, I really don’t want to do anything to get you smoked.  We thought it would be fun and within the rules.  I really really really hope you enjoyed it and nothing bad happened.  We miss you so much and love you so much!!  I am including a photo of you I saw on your Company Facebook page and that photo for Fevin. 

Airline Tickets – I have included your flight details!  I got the flight on Southwest for free with points and spent $350 on the flight with Delta so I did REAL GOOD.  Did you have any friends that want to come for HBL.  They are welcome if they want to!  Your Delta flight going back is actually the same flight that Bailey Giles is on.  It was the only flight out of Boise that would get you back on base on time so it’s not surprising that you will both be on it.  Can’t wait for HBL!!

I can’t wait to hear from you this coming weekend!  We are going to watch your turning Green ceremony.  We MISS you sooo much and LOVE you sooo much!! 

Letter to Jaxon 10/20/2020 Grateful Cat Parable

 

Monday 10/19/2020 9:45pm

Jaxon – We will see how fast I can type. 😊 I have a super busy day tomorrow and I wanted to write the rest of what I wanted to tell you today.  First off Wil’s birthday is tomorrow.  He is going hunting and REALLY wanted to take the 308 you gave him but it didn’t have a scope on it so he is taking my 25-06.  He is okay with that, the gun is from Grandad and your Grandpa’s time frame.  Your grandpa traded his electric guitar for it with his Dad’s help.  It doesn’t kick, well hardly at all, so Wil really liked that.  But when you are home for break can you put a scope on your brother’s 308 please.  I will pay for it or if we have a scope great.  That way it is ready for him when he wants to go again.  He can use mine any time but I know he wants to use the one you gave him.  Maybe it’s something you can do together, I think that would be the best and something he wants done.  So I am getting up at 5 so I can take birthday pictures while he is dressed for hunting.  Also Wil was told tonight at practice that he will sit Varisty on Friday and for the rest of the season.  Which is the play off games etc.  Idk if he will play at all but I’ll watch and hopefully go if I can, take a picture of him on the sidelines.  He said though that we HAVE to tell you he played.  😉 I bought him a hat, army green with a flag from you.  Hope that’s okay. He has wanted a new hat.  I included a picture. 

Okay on to the things that I needed to tell you earlier.  But first I’m busy tomorrow because I need to take Aunt Debra to see Dr. Choutka (yes Greta’s neurosurgeon).  Debra has MS and she fell awhile ago and had to go to the ER.  She had a T12 compression fracture.  She also had some seizures and they had to change her seizure medication.  Tomorrow we will see Choutka, get an xray of her back to make sure it is healing correctly and an EEG also. OH YEAH Dillon Hansen is home and spoke on Sunday, he did a great job.  Bishop Elsasser said it was the most he had ever heard Dillon speak.  LoL

Wil was in a business class with Sharkey the other day and they did a Bully survey.  During it they moved to one side of the classroom for No and the other side for Yes and stood in the middle for the question.  Anyhow first question was if you “Have you ever seen someone get bullied?” and everyone moved to the yes side.  Then they moved back for the next question and it was “Have you ever stopped or stepped in when you saw someone getting bullied”.  Wil was the only one that went to the yes side.  There were a few other questions that shocked him with the classes response.  When he came home he talked to me about it and said that it made him think of you.  That when he was in 8^th grade and you gave him a ride home every day that while he was waiting for you in the parking lot he saw you multiple times confront bullies.  He said that most of the time you didn’t even say anything, that you would just walk up and square your shoulders and glare at them and that they would walk away.  Wil said that he always thought I want to do that, but I am so scrawny, but I will when I can.  Jaxon’s buff he can do it but I will be able to some day.  He says now he is strong even though he is lean and he has stood up to bullies many times, especially during football.  That he has told them I’m not afraid to fight you.  Amazingly though, as you know, bullies you usually are not fighters and they always walk away.  Which is good cause your brother doesn’t want to fight at all, he just wants them to know he is serious when he tells them to stop.  And he would if he had to.  It was really sweet how he remembered wanting to be like you and stand up to others for those that wouldn’t/couldn’t and that he can now and does.  He was amazed at his good friends with impeccable reputations and that they hadn’t ever stopped a bully, or tried.  He wasn’t judging but confused.  Anyhow I wanted you to know.  Great big brother moment. 😊

So I was thinking that when you come for holiday break I want some photos of you in your uniform.  There is a guy that takes photos of the club riding horses etc. and he is an army veteran.  He is a really great photographer so I am going to talk to him and I want to get some photos when you are home.  I know how much you LOVE photos so I’ll tell him it will be short. 

 

I have wanted to share this parable with you.  It’s so good.  It is called The Parable of the Grateful Cat by James E Talmage.  I heard it during my scripture study last week and found it today so I could send it to you.  I like to watch these you tube videos by what Wil calls “The Seminary Dudes” so I found a written version to send you.  We had a really good scripture study last night and the kids watched the video portion where Tyler (seminary dude) tells the story.  😊

A certain English student of Natural History, as I have heard, once upon a time had the experience described below.

Mr. Romanes, in the course of his customary daily walk, came to a millpond. At the edge of the water he saw two boys with a basket. They were obviously engaged in a diverting occupation. As he came up to them, Mr. Romanes observed that the youths were well dressed and evidently somewhat refined and cultured. Inquiry elicited the fact that they were upper servants in a family of wealth and social quality. In the basket were three whining kittens; two others were drowning in the pond; and the mother cat was running about on the bank, rampant in her distress.

To the naturalist’s inquiry the boys responded with a straightforward statement, respectfully addressed. They said their mistress had instructed them to drown the kittens, as she wanted no other cat than the old one about the house. The mother cat, as the boys explained, was the lady’s particular pet. Mr. Romanes assured the boys that he was a personal friend of their employer, and that he would be responsible for any apparent dereliction in their obedience to the orders of their mistress. He gave the boys a shilling apiece, and took the three living kittens in charge. The two in the pond had already sunk to their doom.

The mother cat evinced more than the measure of intelligence usually attributed to the animal world. She recognized the man as the deliverer of her three children, who but for him would have been drowned. As he carried the kittens she trotted along-sometimes following, sometimes alongside, occasionally rubbing against him with grateful yet mournful purrs. At his home Mr. Romanes provided the kittens with comfortable quarters, and left the mother cat in joyful content. She seemed to have forgotten the death of the two in her joy over the rescue of the three.

Next day, the gentleman was seated in his parlor on the ground floor, in the midst of a notable company. Many people had gathered to do honor to the distinguished naturalist. The cat came in. In her mouth she carried a large, fat mouse, not dead, but still feebly struggling under the pains of torturous capture. She laid her panting and well-nigh expiring prey at the feet of the man who had saved her kittens.

What think you of the offering, and of the purpose that prompted the act? A live mouse, fleshy and fat! Within the cat’s power of possible estimation and judgment it was a superlative gift. To her limited understanding no rational creature could feel otherwise than pleased over the present of a meaty mouse. Every sensible cat would be ravenously joyful with such an offering. Beings unable to appreciate a mouse for a meal were unknown to the cat.

 

Are not our offerings to the Lord-our tithes and our other free-will gifts-as thoroughly unnecessary to His needs as was the mouse to the scientist? But remember that the grateful and sacrificing nature of the cat was enlarged, and in a measure sanctified, by her offering.

Thanks be to God that He gages the offerings and sacrifices of His children by the standard of their physical ability and honest intent rather than by the gradation of His exalted station. Verily He is God with us; and He both understands and accepts our motives and righteous desires. Our need to serve God is incalculably greater than His need for our service.

 

 

 

Letter to Jaxon, The Veteran at the Post Office

 Thursday 10/8/2020

Hi Jaxon!  I have a story to tell you and I can type faster than I can write so this will be a typed letter.  My informed delivery (mail delivery, images of letters etc) says that we have letters coming from you today!  I am so excited!

In Conference Sat morning Sister Craig, First Counselor in the General Young Women’s, gave a talk and this is something she shared, it is very pertinent to my story.  

Sister Craig - Even in our busy lives, we can follow the example of Jesus and see individuals—their needs, their faith, their struggle, and who they can become.

As I pray for the Lord to open my eyes to see things I might not normally see, I often ask myself two questions and pay attention to the impressions that come: “What am I doing that I should stop doing?” and “What am I not doing that I should start doing?”

Months ago, during the sacrament, I asked myself these questions and was surprised by the impression that came. “Stop looking at your phone when you are waiting in lines.” Looking at my phone in lines had become almost automatic; I found it a good time to multitask, catch up on email, look at headlines, or scroll through a social media feed.

The next morning, I found myself waiting in a long line at the store. I pulled out my phone and then remembered the impression I had received. I put my phone away and looked around. I saw an elderly gentleman in line ahead of me. His cart was empty except for a few cans of cat food. I felt a little awkward but said something really clever like, “I can see you have a cat.” He said that a storm was coming, and he did not want to be caught without cat food. We visited briefly, and then he turned to me and said, “You know, I haven’t told anyone this, but today is my birthday.” My heart melted. I wished him a happy birthday and offered a silent prayer of thanks that I had not been on my phone and missed an opportunity to truly see and connect with another person who needed it.

With all of my heart I do not want to be like the priest or the Levite on the road to Jericho—one who looks and passes by.  But too often I think I am.

Fast Forward to Wednesday, yesterday.  I was mailing you a letter and it was just a little to heavy so I needed a .15 stamp for the extra ounce.  I pulled up to the post office (it’s a booth outside right now because they are moving into a new building) and see a long line.  So I decide that it’s okay that I will wait in line.  An elderly man gets in line right behind me wearing a black mask, we are all about 6ft apart.  I felt that this man looked at me and then a lady, a couple spots ahead of me and isn’t thrilled we don’t have masks on. So I ignore him and get on my phone.  I check my messages and look at Facebook and then I think of Sis. Craig’s talk.  So I decide to put my phone in my purse and look at the people around me.  I look back at the man behind me, he has on tan pants and he has tried to tuck them into black cowboy boots (that are totally shiny), tan shirt tucked in with a black belt, then I glance at his hat and it says National Army Museum.  I look down and think, I wonder if he is an Army veteran and I start to get emotional.  So I take a deep breathe, look at him, make eye contact and ask “Did you serve in the Army or do you just like the hat?”  He replies “I served in the Army”.  So I say “That’s Awesome” to which he replies “Depends on how you feel about things”.  

I was sad at his response, the world is messed up.  I tell him “I have something to say but I will probably get emotional” and then “Yep, I am emotional”.  He just patiently waited, looking kindly at me.  Then I said with a quivering voice “My son is at boot camp”  Then he asked where etc. and I was able to talk with him.  Found out he was an instructor for years, was in the Army for 30 years and loved it.  Has taught/instructed at Fort Benning and other bases, he mentioned Missouri and California also, he couldn’t remember the names of all of them.  He said that he was Airborne and had learned to jump with parachutes and all of that.  I told him about your drill sergeants and he said the reason they are so good is because they are not full of BS.  That they know their stuff and care about who they are training.  They have a purpose.  He said he had been a First Sergeant at one point in his career and had drill sergeants under him and they hated him.  That he always deflated their egos.  That they were full of BS and ego and he didn’t like it so he would take them down a few notches.  

We were in line for almost 20 minutes, he also said that he had joined the Army because college just wasn’t for him.  But then he ended up teaching at College and spending time on bases still instructing.  At one point he said “Don’t worry about your son Momma, he is going to be fine.  He sounds like he is going to do great in the Army.”   I got emotional again (I have to point out, I held it together!  Never cried or lost it.  My voice just wouldn’t stay steady sometimes) I responded with “Actually I am not worried at all.  I just miss him.” He nodded at me, inferring that was good that I wasn’t worried.  Even though he wore a mask I know he was smiling  and then then we talked more about his time at Fort Benning etc.  I kept wanting to say something like “Thank You for your service” but I just KNEW I would lose it and be the crazy lady crying at the post office.  So instead when he was telling me about being an instructor I said “I bet you made a lot of difference and influenced a lot of people.”  He shrugged and said “I hope So”.  I then made sure I was looking him straight in the eye and said “I know you did because my son will never forget his instructors.”  He was quiet and nodded.  

Jaxon I saw this man square his shoulders and grow bigger the more we talked.  He was an elderly man but can you imagine the young man he was once.  A First Sargent, an Airborne, an instructor, he had a family.  He said one time he only came home 3 times during part of his service.  He loved training and instructing, he only stopped when they told him he had to.  He said he was sad the day his last check came and he knew he was done.  That he had just kept finding new ways to serve as he grew older in the Army.  That he loved it.

During this conversation I noticed a lady behind this veteran and she was always smiling at us and listening.  So in a lull of our conversation I looked her in the eyes and she spoke up and said “I was 9 years old when my brother joined the Navy and I will never forget it.  I cried every time I talked to him but he was my hero.  I didn’t see him very much but it was okay and I will never forget it.”  The veteran looked behind him and stepped to the side so he could turn and see both of us and then three of us talked for a while about letters and technology, like the fact we in our age are so used to having our phones and what a transition it is when now you don’t.  How our family has gotten used to letters and that we all write to you.  The veteran said that is all he had in his day.  There were no personal phones to use and how he received letters too.  

I told them both “Thank you for talking to me” when it was my turn at the window finally.  And then I was talking to the lady at the window, who knows me, it’s Kuna you know.  :)  I told her I needed a page of .15 stamps so that I could just add one when I needed to and that I needed regular stamps too.  She asked what kind of regular stamps and I said “Flags, I hear they require the least amount of push-ups”.  She stopped and turned to me and said with a big smile “You know what, you are absolutely correct, lets find you some flag stamps.”  (I don’t even know why I said that.  You are the push-up king.)  She couldn’t find a book and and I didn’t want her to keep looking because the line was still long so I told her to just give me a whole roll (I could see those in her drawer) and that I would use them for work too.  We talked a min about all her computer problems and needing to be in the new building and then I was ready to go.  As I turned to leave both the veteran and woman in line raised up their hand and waved at me, both telling me to “Have a great day”, with big smiles (pretty sure the veteran was smiling even though he still wore his black mask).  I told them the same thing, waved and left.  

I might have lost it in the car.  I think the post office is a dangerous place. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha  I am really glad I was able to talk to both of them and I hope it brightened their days.  I hope that veteran feels more important and knows there is a lot of us that support the Army, the US’ Military branches.  That he is proud of who he is.  He seemed so sad when I first spoke with him, when he wasn’t sure if I really thought it was awesome.  You could tell that the unrest in the world weighed on his shoulders.  That he felt like he was a dying breed and that he wasn’t appreciated.  I never could say ‘Thank You for your service”.  It just couldn’t come out without me making a fool of myself but I am sure he felt it from me.  And the moment he realized I was an Army Mom he changed.  He changed before my eyes and the woman behind us was wonderful to join with us.  

I hope you enjoy this story.  I am so glad I put my phone away and spoke with him.  He is a great man and needed to feel important and powerful again.  Don’t worry about me at all.  I promise I wasn’t a mental case.  It was my love for you and the spirit that brought out my shaking voice and had me crying later.  To much emotion, to much spirit.  The other day Madison asked me “What is wrong with you, did you take something.”  Inferring I was on caffeine, that I was too awake and happy.  I told her “No, I’m just filled with the spirit”  She laughed and said “Oh no, that’s almost worse.” and then gave me a big hug and smiled.  

We are all okay here!  Heavenly Father has been taking special care of us.  I feel like we are receiving blessings at home for what you are willing to do.  Your righteousness and desire to serve and do what you know your Heavenly Father wants you to do blesses all of us here at home.  I love you Jaxon and I am so proud of you.  I can’t express how proud.  I bore my testimony in church last month and I brought up your accident last August and almost accident last July.  And that Heavenly Father watches out for us and takes care of us while teaching us valuable lessons and prompting us to follow his path.  President Christensen was there and he came up afterwards and told me “Your son Jaxon has a birthright, sometimes that is an amazing blessing to us because they will be protected because of that birthright.  He will fulfill his birthright, Sister Kingsbury.”  I want you to know you have the support of your stake president, that he knows you are doing what you are meant to do.  You have so much support son!  Everybody asks about you and nobody is surprised that you are a beast!  I better go now.  I have almost written you a book.  I need to do billing, dishes, laundry, study my scriptures, all of those day to day things.   I love you Jaxon Kingsbury!  

Letter to Sis Ashlee Price

Hello Sis Price - I am so happy to be writing you!  I hope you are doing good!  On Wed the younger YW class came over rode horses.  Alexis did so good even though she was nervous.  I don't know if she knew but she was riding the least experienced horse I have and did great.  It gave us a chance to talk about you and how you would come to ride.  Those are fond memories!   All my life I have just loved the scriptures that include Ask, Seek, Knock etc.  At one point I went through my scriptures and marked all the scriptures in my scriptures that included those words.  This past week in 3 Nephi I came across one of these favored scriptures.  

3 Nephi 14:7-8 7. Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 8. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

I had also been praying all week to hear that my son Jaxon in basic training was doing okay.  His last letter was dated 9/4, he started basic on 9/11 and left home on 7/28.  I knew that something would come but I didn't know when or how.  I didn't know if it would be a letter, a call, text, facebook post, or photos uploaded.  I just knew that my Heavenly Father was bound to answer my prayer.  That I try my hardest and I'm doing what I should and my prayer was sincere and I knew it would be answered at some point.  After two weeks of hearing/knowing nothing.  There is a real grief that goes with no contact of any kind and knowing you can not contact someone at all.  I woke up at 5:30 am on Saturday with bad allergies and looked at a site called basictrainingphotos.com and clicked on his companies folder A354 and was speechless with emotion when I saw the training folders.  I searched through the two folders of photos and found him.  I found him and not only did he look good but he looked healthy and happy. 

The cool thing I have learned and my close friend Ginger Madson pointed out to me is that when we show gratitude for our blessings the Lord blesses us more.  I had immense gratitude and on Sunday morning didn't even check the folders or Facebook.  Then when I did open Facebook I saw that one of the Fort Benning Family Support Groups I am a part of had posted that company A 3-54 had made a new post.  It felt like Christmas, I clicked and then stared.  There in the the very first photo of the post was Jaxon reaching down, with a slight smile to his mouth, pulling up/holding on to his comrade.  My gratitude is unspeakable, my heart could just burst, it hurts it's so happy.  Our Heavenly Father knows us and loves us.  He listens and will answer us.  I'm attaching two of the photos.  The one of Jaxon standing  listening to a fellow friend/trainee is my favorite I found on the basic training photos website.  The one of him reaching down was the 1st one on the Facebook post and my favorite from that day. 

Take care of yourself Sis Price!  I will write again! 

Love Sis Kingsbury

Wil hitting video

 

9/28/2020 Greta, Wil & Ava

 Greta - She has reserved her apartment for College and is so excited.  It's in the Cedars and I am so excited for her.  Greta went and visited Emma in Utah a few weeks ago and then she couldn't go to work for 4 days after she returned to the state.  So she went to Rexburg and visited her Aunt Linda and cousins Grace and Megan.  While there she hung out with Paige Christensen and Kamry Stimpson.  They had a ton of fun!  She is excited to go back for Halloween.  Andrew Madson says he will go with her.  They both need to go have fun with young adults their age.  It should be a lot of fun!  She worked every day last week Mon-Sat at Ship Zoom.  She was exhausted come Monday and also came down with a bug.  Paul has been very sick this weekend.  

Wil - Wil is playing football on the JV team and doing great.  We love watching him.  He is playing starting safety, kick off return, kick off and will be getting some running back time.  He works so hard and is doing so well.  The hybrid schedule is really hard though.  Wil is struggling with his teachers and his grades.  He is so frustrated!  He doesn't know how to fix it and has never had bad grades.  We will work to fix it.  I'm going to email his teachers tomorrow so they know we as parents are involved.  Hopefully it will make a difference.  

Ava - Ava is doing great in clogging.  She is also struggling with the hybrid schedule and had her 1st in school class today.  She was so happy to be at school today!  She can't wait to go again on Wed.  They don't want to be having school at home.  Abi is coming over almost every day to hang out an us and Ava and her do their homework together.  

9/27/2020 A 3-54 Facebook Post

 I have prayed all week to know that Jaxon was okay.  I have held it together by studying the scriptures every day and taking the dogs for a run or walk.  This has been really good for me to cope with the stress of not having contact with Jaxon, Hybrid school for Ava and Wil and work being unstable.  It also helps me function better.  Anyhow, I had been praying all week to know somehow.  I love this scripture from our studying this week.  3 Nephi 14:7-8 7. Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 8. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.  The Lord is bound to do what he promises.  I knew my prayer would be answered, I just didn't know when or how.  When I saw those photos on Saturday 9/26 I knew my prayers had been answered.  I saw his face and knew he was happy, healthy, and doing good.  And then this morning to wake up and see that he company's face book page had a new post up (2nd post the have put up) and Jaxon was in the first photo.  I cried because I was so happy and so grateful.  I think all three of these photos could be him but I'm not sure except the one where he is leaning over and helping his comrade.  I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father and I do feel comforted.  Here are the photos.  He looks so good!  I am so proud of him!